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(14.12.19 - 19:04)
Had a shitty night like always. Nightmares like always but I don't really remember them now. I got up to weight myself and as I saw my weight I felt so guilty because I ate so much yesterday.
For breakfast (it was already lunchtime) I just had a coffee but my mom said I have to eat before we leave the house. I just snacked on some veggies. We went to the store again and she was constantly forcing me to buy some food. But I didn't except from some toast.
We then went for a walk with the dog but it was too cold and I was so tired I could barely walk.
As we got home I jut wanted to do nothing. My mom made some soup for dinner wicg turned out soo good. I do feel bloated now but I guess it's okay?
I also made these two paintings earlier. They're not even close to be finished but they will be christmas presents.
I just try to distract myself now and try not to eat food because I don't want to gain more weight. I was so happy seeing that I hit my LW yesterday.. I want those feelings back. It's like I'm just numbers. And anything I can do are numbers. I'm measured by them at least by myself. That's the only thing I can control, right?
♡》Please don't report me, just block. I need a place to rant and let out the things in my head I'm afraid to say in real life.《♡