Today was a ROUGH day with Kinsley.
She was struggling with all of her emotions. Irritable, sensitive and at times just downright defiant.
If I’m being honest, we’ve had a lot of those days with her this summer. It has been a tough one.
Our first reaction as parents is to discipline. Discipline looks different for every family. But I think that across the board, when our kids act up, our knee jerk reaction is to deprive them of whatever it is that they are looking forward to. An experience, eating out, shopping, a sleepover. .
Today Kinsley was looking forward to getting her school shoes. After the morning we had, I did not want to take her to get those shoes. I felt as though it would be rewarding her for awful behavior. .
Then I challenged myself to approach things differently. She was having a bad day. Over-tired, over-stimulated and feeling anxious. All of the signs were there. She was struggling to process her emotions.
I experience that same struggle every single day. I am overwhelmed by my anxiety and lash out regularly. .
Sometimes I need some “tough love” and accountability. Sometimes I need affirmations and a pick-me-up.
So today I tried to love Kinsley through it instead of adding to it.
She still acted up after getting the shoes. She said some mean things and we still stopped at her favorite lunch spot when we left the mall. We had a great time doing crafts when we got home and then she threw a fit when Derek wouldn’t let her watch YouTube videos on his phone. She struggled through dinner, was reprimanded twice while we were walking the dogs afterwards; and then I let her haul her shoes and crafts in my Instagram stories before bed.
My point is, we all have rough days. Our kids are no exception. While discipline is necessary, discipline doesn’t always have to mean deprivation. Today I chose to practice more patience than I actually have, summon forth all of my empathy and allow my child to struggle and be supported all at the same time.
I want her to know that I love her ALL OF THE TIME, on the good days and the bad. I want her to have a childhood that she doesn’t have to recover from. Today that meant giving her some grace 💜